A controversial couple

Even before Robert and I were married, there was one thing that we did that made everybody around us uncomfortable. No, it wasn't anything scandalous, or at least, we didn't think so. However, it turns out that allowing your partner to be friends with his/her ex is a very taboo subject. We received even more shocking expressions when we said we occasionally caught up with said exes as well.

The thing is, Robert and I are really comfortable in our relationship, and we know that neither of us is ever going to cheat. I'm not over-confident or boasting either. Robert is incredibly loyal and would leave me before he ever cheated, and as for me, when I give my heart I give it to one person- entirely. We've been this way from the beginning and we know that we're the only one for each other. The fact that we are so comfortable makes us okay with seeing our exes, because in the end, we know there are no feelings there.

Granted, when it comes to me I'm only friends with one of my exes. The rest I want nothing to do with. As for Robert, he occasionally talks to a few of his ex-girlfriends. He used to go catch up with them in person, however, I think their feelings were more than his because most of them don't talk to him now he's married. That's the only time we've found that being friends with an ex can be a problem; when that ex has different intentions for the relationship. But honestly, when you have a relationship where you can trust one another, is staying friends with an ex really a big deal?

We're controversial for more than our willingness to befriend our exes though. Robert and I are open about the fact that it's okay to eye-goggle other people. Honestly, I usually don't because of what I said before; when I give my heart, I'm focused on one person. I think out of our four and a half years together, I've only noticed two other men. For the most part, I really don't pay attention. But I'd be a fool if I thought Robert only had eyes for me. It's human nature to look, and since I know that's all he's doing, it doesn't bother me at all.

Does this make me strange? Many people think so. I'm okay with it though, and honestly, I know that Robert and I love each other. I feel blessed to have a marriage where I'm comfortable enough to let him admire another woman or have lunch with an ex (and where he is comfortable with me doing the same). After everything I've been through, I never thought that real, honest love like that existed. I truly am thankful we were both lucky to find the right relationship for us.

However, I know that being keeping past relationships as friends or eye-goggling other people isn't right in every partnership. As I mentioned, sometimes the ex sees more in the friendship than you or your partner does, and that can cause way too many problems. In that case, no matter how comfortable you are together, staying friends with an ex is a bad idea. How do you feel about it? Are you comfortable with your partner friending their ex or admiring the occasional eye candy?



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